Get the latest news to your email inbox FREE!

REGISTER

Get the latest news to your email inbox FREE!

REGISTER
HomeNewsA sc-RUM-ptious Christmas recipe

A sc-RUM-ptious Christmas recipe

With the festive season once again upon us, locals have been sharing their Christmas ideas and recipes in the lead up to the big day – and this funny one caught our eye.

Longwarry residents had a good chuckle when this recipe popped up on the local Facebook noticeboard recently, and we thought we’d share it with you too – Merry Christmas!

(Shared by a Longwarry local, original writer unknown):

It’s that time of year and since I’ve been unofficially crowned “Fruit Cake Queen“, here is my recipe.

THE BEST XMAS CAKE RECIPE:

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my rum Christmas cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!)

Ingredients: 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, 4 large eggs, nuts, 1 bottle rum, 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of rum to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the rum again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the rum is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the rum.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the rum and wipe the counter with the cat.

Merry Christmas.

Digital Edition
Subscribe

Get an all ACCESS PASS to the News and your Digital Edition with an online subscription

OAM honours for 11

Eleven people with significant connections to Greater Geelong were recognised with Australia Day honours on 26 January and received a Medal of the Order...
More News

Paramedic concerns as temps rise

Paramedics are urging the community not to leave children, pets or older people unattended in vehicles as temperatures continue to soar following a warm...

Neighbourhood house reveals new program

The Ocean Grove Neighbourhood House is back in full swing, with organisers launching a new February program. Catering to community members of all ages, the...

A bigger than ever Festival of Sails

The nation’s ultimate sailing celebration returned for its 183rd year, as the Festival of Sails ventured into the Geelong waterfront from 24 to 26...

Anthony ready to defend title

Barwon Heads’ Jakara Anthony is aiming to be the first Australian to defend an Olympic title at the Olympic Winter Games in Milano...

Family violence court now open

A dedicated family violence court is now open in Geelong to give victim-survivors of family violence across the region better access to justice and...

Australia Day honours for 15 community members

Fifteen Greater Geelong people have received Australia Day honours. Three - Michael Betts, John Womersley and Dr Gillian Miles - received Member of the Order...

Tobacco license deadline approaching

The state government has issued a final call for tobacco retailers and wholesalers to secure a mandatory licence, with less than two weeks remaining...

Speedmouse on a whole new level

The Umbilical Brothers are coming back to Geelong to celebrate the 25th anniversary of their most beloved show. Comedy duo David ‘Dave’...

Chong connects with audiences

Playing the piano wasn’t always Kristian Chong’s dream, but little did his younger self know that he would become one of Australia’s leading musicians....

Embracing the ‘house’

The way locals have embraced everything on offer at Ocean Grove Neighbourhood House since its reopening shows just how important these spaces are for...