New help for ‘damaged dads’

Fathers’ helpers: Dads in Distress coordinators Wendy Leigh and Michael Nolan.	 Fathers’ helpers: Dads in Distress coordinators Wendy Leigh and Michael Nolan.

KIM WATERS
A NEW Geelong service is taking the “anger and revenge” out of fathers struggling to cope with family break-ups, according to its coordinator.
Wesley Centre for Life Enrichment director Michael Nolan said the weekly Dads in Distress peer support group aimed to reduce isolation as part of a wider early suicide prevention strategy.
“During a divorce or separation it’s a really important time when dads need to be firing on all eight cylinders for the sake of their kids,” Mr Nolan said.
“Most of the time it’s not easy to do that when dealing with the bigger issues of negotiating child contact times, keeping a job, keeping up your mortgage payments and coping with the loss of friends who might take sides.
“This group is designed to offer peer support and referral advice for men and endeavours to take the heat out of that anger and revenge and that sort of stuff that men can often feel.”
The advent of the service follows a report in the Independent last year of a surge in Geelong divorces, which counsellors attributed to increasing financial hardship after the global financial crisis.
Mr Nolan said many Geelong men were now “desperately in need” of support.
“In some ways its takes a stand where there might be a need for early intervention in the man’s life to prevent the likelihood of suicide or risk to his ex-partner or the children.
“It certainly takes away some of the isolation men feel when they do separate and can really struggle because they often don’t like to tell people at work and friends can take sides.
“I think it’s a wonderful thing for men to find a place where they can vent and also get some support and help from people who have been down this road already.”
Mr Nolan encouraged struggling fathers to make use of the free service.
“The first thing I’d say is do it for your kids because the kids would say ‘I’m glad someone is looking after my dad,” Mr Nolan said.
“In Australia each year about 70,000 married and defacto couples separate and the women often seek help much more than the men do.”
Mr Nolan said the service included a help line and opportunities for one-on-one support.
More information was available by phoning 1300 853 437 or 5222 4101.
• Anyone with personal problems can also phone Lifeline for crisis support on 13 11 14.