Parents’ ‘lost rights’ puts our kids at risk

No help: Ms L is battling to save her daughter from ice addiction.No help: Ms L is battling to save her daughter from ice addiction.

By Michelle Herbison
ADOLESCENTS are falling foul of the law because parents have lost their “rights”, according to a Geelong mother.
Ms L spoke to the Independent on the condition of anonymity after Geelong Police Inspector Gary Bruce last week attributed rising youth crime to some parents failing to “exercise effective control”.
Ms L believed authorities could have helped save her 17-year-old daughter from addiction to the drug ice if they had acted earlier.
Ms L said she was taking responsibility but had little support.
“We did what we needed to do as parents. You’re going to get rebellion and we did,” she said.
“It’s just that it escalated to ‘You can’t tell me what to do any more, I’m 16. I can leave school if I want to’.”
Ms L said shifting laws to protect children had compromised parents’ ability to exercise control.
“I can’t pick her up and deal with her because she’d say ‘I could ring the cops and tell them you’re hitting me’,” Ms L said.
“Now, I understand that the laws are there to protect children in certain situations but we have no rights.”
Ms L said police and the courts were too forgiving of young people who needed help to get “back on the right path”.
She said a judge who changed his mind after threatening to send her to juvenile detention made taking drugs and breaking the law “too easy”.
“When she came out she was petrified but it lasted a day then she was back on the stuff. She thought it was a joke.”
Ms L said she was trying to admit her daughter to a rehabilitation centre but many refused to take her without a court order until she was 18.
Barwon Health drug and alcohol counsellor Annie Baker said resources for rehabilitation services were “really tight” and involved waiting times.
“There’s a window when a person’s really ready to do something different but if they have to wait six weeks they’ll feel hopeless and go and use again.”
Ms Baker said most parents she helped were “really committed” to helping their children.
“I think the stereotype is that if your kid’s into drugs there must be something wrong with your family but most get stuck when they don’t intend to.”
Time for Youth’s Mike Kelly said interest in his parenting programs was increasing as more adolescents developed attitudes of “over-entitlement”.
“Parents do often feel isolated and unsupported. The feeling that the system’s against them can be so demoralising.”