First it was popular music.
Then came the fashions.
And now it’s clowns.
Yes, American culture has extended the oversized novelty glove of its latest cultural trend deep into Australia, with the Geelong region feeling its touch this week.
But were local reports of creepy clown sightings overblown?
Clown-induced school lockdowns seemed limited to Colac, with no substantiated reports in Geelong.
Geelong police’s Facebook page posted a warning against clown-related activity but lacked any suspects.
And a perusal of local social media accounts established to deal with the threat indicated limited, if any, para-circus activity.
So why the hysteria without the size-28 shoes? Why hasn’t anyone sent in the clowns?
Could it have something to do with the creepy Gheringhap Street building abutting Johnstone Park?
The one formerly known as …. Clown Hall?
The one exorcised in April?
Now that’s creepy.
Speaking of clowns, families might be best advised to avoid the Royal Geelong Show this weekend.
After all, rodeo clowns have been known to stalk the showground, while the odd roaming performer in stripy pants and curly red afro has lurked among crowds over the years.
And let’s not forget the traditional terror of sideshow alley, where patrons reliably encounter the shady characters pictured above.
Double Take suggests a walk on the beach instead – much cheaper and nary any clown-life to be seen.
Finally, and possibly still clown-related, AFL umpires have earned a tick of approval from latest research out of Deakin University.
The uni claimed this week that umpies usually made the right decision, “contrary to the views of many one-eyed AFL fans”.
Honours student Sean Corrigan investigated 6839 decisions, giving them a generally thumbs up for overcoming influences such as umpire experience, home-ground advantage and crowd composition.
In fact, 92 per cent of awarded free kicks were justified, Corrigan reported.
In light of these findings, fans should prepare to applaud 92 per cent of decisions next season.
As if…