Insider: Neil Humphreys with his latest controversial novel. Picture: Tommy Ritchie 57657
Andrew Mathieson
NO ONE knows corruption better in the so-called beautiful game than Highton’s Neil Humphreys.
For close to a decade the former-newspaper-reporter-turned-author spent most weeks in a courtroom jotting down bribery claims in Singapore’s latest football scandal.
So when thousands of soccer fans winced last week at the world governing body’s decision to award Qatar the 2022 World Cup over Australia amid FIFA members taking cash for votes, Neil joined the legions in shaking his head.
“I thought Australia would win,” he admits, “I just couldn’t see how they couldn’t.
“All the cynicism everyone has – in and outside the game – toward FIFA has been vindicated.”
There was no parochialism in the Cockney accent of Neil, who is still as much East End as his beloved West Ham United.
That famous English club featured in his international best-seller about a fictitious player failing to make the cut at the Hammers then struggling at Melbourne Victory before finding success in Singapore where he is caught up in the expatriate party scene.
A few chats over coffee with his publisher about covering the stream of players on trial for throwing S-league games was the impetus behind Neil’s latest book, Match Fixer.
But some found the lines of Singapore’s seedy underground were blurred between reality and fiction.
“It was kind of like gangsters in Goodfellas or The Godfather – they (the Singapore match fixers) loved it because it’s not about anyone specifically,” Neil laughs.
“Who I did upset was ESPN because I made fun of these washed-up expat pundits and they end up slagging off all these players who were 10 times better than they ever were.
“And the government was furious with me because Singapore is supposed to be safe, clean and polished.”
If Match Fixer angered a few on the island nation, Neil is preparing for worse from English fans with his next attempt.
The book’s inspiration was a sex scandal involving then-English captain John Terry and the girlfriend of former Chelsea club teammate Wayne Bridge.
“It’s going to be controversial and the darkest book so far when I talk about the state of the English Premier League and all the corruption, the sleaziness, the shagging each other’s wives, the multi-millionaires and treating their fans like s..t,” Neil predicts.
Unlike some of his characters, bundles of cash are not floating around Neil’s world.
But his pay-offs have been junkets to interview Harrison Ford, Nicholas Cage, Oasis, even a world exclusive one-on-one with David Beckham.
“I always say I have taken pay cuts every job I’ve had since I was 21,” Neil remarks.
“When I first graduated I got a temp job working for a stockbrokers in the UK just to save money to travel and it’s still the highest I’ve ever been paid.”
Far removed from the glitz and glamour of his subjects, 36-year-old never takes himself too seriously.
He even labels his book Be My Baby as little more than a “self-deprecating piss-take of my uselessness”.
Less than five years since choosing Australia’s sun-drenched beaches over returning to London’s working-class slums, he was quick to write about his journey to fatherhood in a new land.
“I don’t know how to do anything else – I can’t stop writing,” Neil says.
“I sleep with a notepad near my bed because, even though it’s an old cliche, just when I’m half awake, half asleep, is sometimes when I get the best ideas.”
