They had nothing on The Great Train Robbery crooks but two bungling burglars still achieved their own 15 minutes of infamy in central Geelong this week.
The bedraggled pair was first spotted entering an office building car park, mangy dog in tow.
Rummaging around for valuables, they eventually settled on a full-size fridge sitting idle in a storage area.
Both struggled to load the prize onto a small bicycle trailer.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” they aggressively inquired of the first witness to happen upon them, ordering him away with menace.
The witness retreated, phoning police from a nearby vantage point.
Eventually the dastardly duo wrestled the fridge away from the crime scene, only for it to topple smack onto the roadway outside the Bush Inn.
Traffic banked up as they reloaded their haul then wobbled off down the road again.
Imaging their dismay after lugging the fridge all the way back to their lair – only to discover it doesn’t work.
Anyway, a certain business says, ‘Thanks for the free hard-rubbish collection, losers!’
A now-standard rebuttal to criticisms of the process by which the Andrews Government axed Geelong’s mayoral vote has emerged.
And, boy, does it set a new level of faulty logic.
Initiating from NewDemocracy Foundation, which conducted the Citizens’ Jury that recommended axing the vote, it goes something like this: you can’t criticise the decision unless you sat through the process.
Interesting. By that logic individuals can’t criticise sentencing without sitting through court cases.
The Wild brothers, anybody? OJ Simpson?
Mind you, some local hospitality establishments might like adapting the argument.
Diner: “Waiter, take my meal back to the kitchen – it’s terrible.”
Waiter: “Sorry, sir, you can’t say that because you didn’t see how it was cooked.”
Local patrons of the arts will have to get their glum on for the latest exhibition on the way to Geelong Gallery.
Luminous Relic, the gallery announced this week, would present a three-way collaboration of paintings, moving images and music inspired by “industrial Geelong”.
The “urgent politically charged work” presents a “sense of intimate connection between industry, carbon emissions, the end of the fossil fuel era, and a lurid dawn heralding freak winds and, far across the ocean, a collapsing ice shelf”.
Sheesh! Whatever happened to vases of flowers?
Luminous Relic, by Mandy Martin, Alexander Boynes and Tristen Parr, is at the gallery from this Saturday until 9 July – wear your bleakest beret!